Posts Tagged ‘fun’

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and 20 wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife’s car was open, and so the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

 In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

 He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife.. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.

 As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys thrown over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and tooth paste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

 As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel.

 She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.. He looked at her bewildered and asked, ‘What happened here today?’

 She again smiled and answered, ‘You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?’

‘Yes, ‘ was his incredulous reply.

 She answered, ‘Well, today I didn’t do it…’!

A blonde gets home from work early & hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting. ‘What’s up?’ she asks.
‘I think I’m having a heart attack,’ – cries the husband. The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she’s dialing, her four-year-old son comes up and says, “Mummy Mummy Aunty Shirley is hiding in the wardrobe & she has no clothes on”
The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom right past her husband, rips open the wardrobe door and sure enough, there is her sister totally naked and cowering on the floor. ‘You rotten Bitch’, she screams.
‘My husband’s having a heart attack, and you’re running around naked playing hide and seek with the kids!!’